Second Stop, part 4: St. John Cemetery, Middle Village Queens - Victor Henry

The last on our list of gravesites to visit in St. John Cemetery on that beautiful Saturday, April 23, 2021, was that of our 3rd great grandfather, Victor Henry (born in March 1838 in Switzerland - died 9 November 1896, in Queens, NY). Victor is interred in Section 16, Row A, Grave 403. 

Row A, you say, well that is going to be right up front now, isn't it? Probably won't even have to get out of the car to find it. However, this was far from the easiest one to find.

Cousin Peter and I certainly parked close enough to the grave. It was in the first row. Well, it wasn't facing the road, so maybe technically it is the second row, really. Nonetheless, can you pick it out of this photo?

Nah, neither could we. But if you guess that broken one in the middle, you would be correct.

Cousin Peter and I paced back and forth down the row looking for plot numbers that are occassionally etched into the lower right corner of the headstones. It was a long row with very few headstones facing the direction we needed. I attempted to take 30 inch strides like we had seen a the cemetery worker at St. Michael's Cemetery do earlier that day. 

"Pete, I think it's this broken one."

Incredulously we examined the remains of the stone looking for any text on it. So worn, we couldn't see anything. The top half of the stone was propped up against the back of the base. Pete helped me tip the top portion of the stone back so I could see the other side and sure enough - -  Can you make it out?

I can barely make out the words. 

"IN MEMORY 

OF 

VICTOR HENRY

DIED NOV 9 (or 8) 1896

AGE (illegible)

JOSEPH HENRY

(illegible) 1902"

Do you see any of that? I think this is the one instance in which taking a rubbing of the stone would have been totally acceptable. It is said that such practice can really damage a stone but honestly, it doesn't get more more damaged than this.

I instantly wanted to replace this stone. I mean there are plenty of family plots with no marker at all. My past post from about this cemetery visit showed Victor's wife, Mary Carillion-Henry's plot with nothing but an azalea. If I had a ridiculous amount of money I'd put headstones on everyone but something about this one, severed in the way it is, made me ache to see it replaced. I mean, this family had very little money. I am sure even way back then a headstone was an investment. Now it would just be gone.

Two days later I contacted the cemetery. They didn't call me back I called them again the following day. What do I need to do to replace this stone?

Well, they were quick to tell me the past care fee the family owed. Hmm. Nearly $3K but made it sound like the effort to replace the stone would be impossible. I would need the permission of every living descendants. Huh? They can't be serious.

I was told they made an effort to contact the grave owner when the stone was broken in a storm back in 2010. Um, the plot owner, Victor's son Victor, died in 1908. 

So here comes a relative, willing to pay to replace the stone and they expect affidavits from every living descendant for a man who died 125 years ago. Sounds a bit insane to me. I could understand such lengths if I was trying to add information to the stone but I am just trying to put something back the family wanted there in the first place.

I know of only 2 remaining great grandchildren of this man. I'm 99% sure there are no others. However, I can only estimate hundreds of great-great, great-great-great, and great-great-great-great grandchildren. That's pretty freakin' great.

I immediately reached out to a fellow descendant of Victor's, Cousin Jenny who has recently been working with another Catholic Cemetery in Queens to get some names added to existing stones on the other side of her family. She assures me it is a project, a great-great-great-great-great freakin' project.

Anyway, Jenny and I have since contacted a monument dealer and started a FaceBook group for family members, and plan to launch a GoFundMe campaign very soon in an effort to replace the stone.

No matter what it costs or what hoops the cemetery requires us to jump through, I know that many members of the extended will feel compelled to contribute to the effort, recognizing that this man, Victor Henry, is very much the reason we exist, why we are Americans, and why we know and love one another.