My last 6 month during this worldwide health crisis and year of turbulent politics in the U.S. has been spent absorbing, reflecting, and distracting myself to find what really matters most to me. Working from home has been exhausting and, at the same time, just fine. It's made me mushy though - mentally and physically and thus I struggle to stay sharp.
One of the skills I have worked to sharpen this year has been in interpreting DNA results. Not only can I evidence this work by pointing to the 100+ DNA cousins I have linked to my Ancestry tree, I have also helped several people in their search to find their DNA relatives. In one instance in particular I assisted a woman in locating her biological father. If she reaches out to him is yet to be decided but with 99% confidence, we know who he is because I could find DNA matches between my client and 3 of his 4 grandparents.
Like most family stories, hers is one that is complex and emotional. She, like so many now, experienced what is often referred to as an NPE; Non-Parentage or Non-Paternity Experience. In short this is when someone takes a DNA test and discovers their parent or parents are not their biological parent(s). In my client's case she always suspected her father was not her biological father but a DNA composition of 50% of an unexpected ethnicity confirmed it.
Those pie charts and ethnicity estimates are not really very meaningful to me. I don't feel ethnically anything. I don't hyphenate myself. I'm not Irish-American, German-American. You never hear Canadian-American really. I think of myself as a long-term American, from a really well stirred melting pot, if you will. I don't care very much if I am 23% French or 37%. I'm not swapping my kilt for lederhosen because frankly, I wear jeans. But when you see an ethnicity which you don't expect in such a large percentage in your ethnicity estimate, it's a tell-tale sign that something is amiss. "How can I be 50% Italian when I don't have a single Italian surname in my family tree?" Um, well you can be if you really don't know half of your genetic tree.
Sorting out your matches is how you determine your biological parent(s). And, I have found, that you need close matches. By that I mean people with more than 100 centimorgans of DNA in common with you, and several of them. They also need to have a comprehensive family tree that you can view and/or you need to communicate with them.
Typically people think they can click a button and get their answer. It doesn't work like that. It is a long, slow, arduous process but the desired results are totally possible.
The first step in any of it, though is that if you or someone you know experiences an NPE is to first relax. Get your head around it before you start your search. The older you get the easier it is, I think, to see your parents as people; people who did some things, made some choices, didn't know what they were doing, etc. Once you have a grasp on that - which can take a really long time....
Then, sort those matches. The Leeds method has been the most useful took I have employed. Use it!: https://www.danaleeds.com/dna-color-clustering-the-leeds-method-for-easily-visualizing-matches/
