52 Ancestors Challenge Week 48: "Overlooked" - Uncle Allen's Thrift Store Find

Just recently, the craziest thing happened. Something that could have been overlooked or ignored wasn't. 

My Uncle Allen loves to go to thrift stores. Loves it! He has several that he frequents. Just this past summer he went to one he hadn't visited before. There he saw a thin book that stood out to him because of the title; Southside Burial Ground, Ozone Park, NY, published in 1996. Allen's maternal grandparents, my great-grandparents, Charles Henry (March 26, 1896 - June 14, 1949) and Anna Sauer-Henry-Stoothoff (July 19, 1899 - May 8, 1986), grew up in Ozone Park, Queens County, New York and only moved to Nassau County, New York after they were married.

Charles died young; he was just 53 when he passed away in 1949 from peritoneal cancer, a rare form of cancer of the stomach lining. His widow, Anna, eventually remarried on October 7, 1963 to Frank W. Stoothoff (February 21, 1903 - September 17, 1993), her first husband's cousin. Oh yes, that's right; as if my tree wasn't messy enough. My step-great-grandfather was also my first cousin 3 times removed. Charles Henry's mother Annette Hinch-Henry (February 22, 1868 - March 2, 1952) was the younger sister of Frank Stoothoff's mother, Sarah Bridget Hinch-Stoothoff-Rhodes (July 25, 1873 - January 4, 1965).

When Uncle Allen came upon that book in the thrift store he immediately thought that I would love the book because it was about Ozone Park but he put it down. "Ah, I'm not gonna get it." He then continued to walk around the shop for a long time but before leaving he was drawn back to the book and decided to flip through it and stumbled upon the name Stoothoff in the text. He thought, "Well hot damn, I'm gonna get it for her." I don't know if he said hot damn but I imagine he did. He would say something like that.

When he gave it to me, we sat and talked about the Stoothoffs for a bit. My grandma wasn't particularly fond of her step-father but I am not entirely sure why. About 10 years ago or so, when my grandmother's memory was still a bit intact, we visited with some of her Stoothoff cousins, June and Dorothea McCowen. Their mother was Frank Stoothoff's sister, Ann Elizabeth Stoothoff-McCowen (June 20, 1895 - July 30, 1988). Their mother was actually named after my great-great grandmother, her aunt, Annette "Ann" Hinch-Henry, mentioned above. Anyway...

As soon as I got to June and Dorothea's house, one of them, I'm not sure who, told me that I looked like a Hinch. I look like my grandmother so, if grandma looks like a Hinch, then I do too. During that visit the sisters bestowed a photograph to me of my great-great grandma, Annette.  

She looks like Julia Roberts, doesn't she? But if Hinches look like Julia Roberts, I sure don't look like one of them. In any case...

June and Dorothea were very skilled genealogists and proud members of the Woodhaven Cultural & Historical Society. Sadly, Dorothea has passed since our meeting. 

When I sat down to read the book, this is what appeared on the verso (The verso is the back of the title page):

Get the hell out of here! I had to tell my Uncle Allen. When he bought it, again, he almost didn't buy it, he had no idea the authors were related to us. 

He and I talked for a bit about freaky things that happen like this and we both entirely believe it is an indication that the souls of those departed are still with us and trying to tell us something. I'm not sure what, but they are afoot, I am sure of it. Something made Allen go back for this book and I am so glad he did.

Thanks, Uncle Al!

52 Ancestors Challenge Week 19: "Food & Drink" - Strange Favorites

This topic brings to mind a few things; my grandpa Earle's strange favorite foods, my family's bread stuffing recipe, liverwurst and jelly sandwiches, and poutine.

I know what you're thinking, how are you can you just sneak liverwurst and jelly sandwiches into a list like that and not start off with discussing that disgusting concoction first. Well, I can because it's my blog. You'll just have to wait for that monstrosity because first I have to tell you about my grandpa's weird meals.

Grandpa Earle's Strange Favorite Foods

Grandpa Earle enjoyed burning his bread over the gas stove. Oh, how awful. It must have tasted like gas, right? I don't know for sure. I am not brave enough to try it. He would take a fork, pierce a piece of white bread from the side and stand there toasting his bread over the stove. 

He also enjoyed himself a bowl of salt-less Saltines in milk. He'd eat it like serial. I thought, why on earth is he eating that when we have shredded wheat, corn flakes, and rice crispies for him to choose from. He loved it!

Bread Stuffing

Grandpa Earle also enjoyed a post-Thanksgiving bread stuffing sandwich. Yes, that is correct a bread stuffing sandwiches. Talk about carb overload. 

First I should say though that my family's bread stuffing is amazing. It is simple recipe of stale white bread moistened with plain old water, butter, onions, salt, pepper, and thyme. That's it. It is a recipe that has been passed down from my great-great grandmother, Agnes Frances Gray-Sauer (October 27, 1871 - December 30, 1941). She is the pretty lady in the center of this picture. 

Agnes was born in New York of Irish descent. Her husband, William George Sauer (February 11, 1870 - December 23, 1932)  was also born in New York but of German stock. I'm not sure if Agnes got this recipe from her mother or her mother-in-law but I have had two older women tell me that they have a similar recipe. One woman was Irish and the other's mother was from Germany. Either way, it is freaking delicious and I know my second cousin, Kelly, makes it for her Thanksgiving dinners as well. Cousin Kelly calls it her grandma's recipe. Her grandma and my grandma were sisters, dishing up the same recipe. Grandma told me it was the stuffing her grandma made so for Kelly and I that would be great-great grandma's recipe. Again, pretty Ms. Agnes above.

Grandpa Earle would cut off a thick slice of that stuffing and put in between two slices of bread, sometimes with turkey or cranberry sauce, but usually just on its own. Now that I could get on board with. Liverwurst sandwiches however, not my bag. 

Liverwurst & Grape Jelly Sandwiches

My dad loves liverwurst. I can't even bring myself to look at it. To each his own though. That is until we talk about Cousin Ernst. His real first name is Tom but my dad just calls him Ernst, which was his last name.

I don't know where Cousin Ernst is or even if he is still with us but Cousin Ernst is my father's second cousin. Ernst's mother, Flora Lou Childres-Ernst (October 3, 1926 - March 14, 2010), lovingly called Aunt Sis, was my grandpa Earle's first cousin. Their mothers, Ethel Losee-Earle (February 14, 1896 - May 27, 1960) and Marion Losee-Childres (July 1900 - December 3, 1949) were the only sisters among their parents' six children.

There was a brief time when Cousin Ernst lived with my grandparents and my dad when dad was in his teens. One story that stands out, of course, is that Cousin Ernst like liverwurst and grape jelly sandwiches. Oh. My. God. I can't. Ugh. 

Poutine

Now, it's not a road trip unless Cousin Kelly and Cousin Pete and I are chowing down on some poutine. 

If you are not familiar with the dish, here on Long Island it is similar to what we call Disco Fries; French fries with cheese and gravy. Oh it's so good. Poutine emerged from Quebec and there they use cheese curds and brown gravy. The dish has really become a symbol of Québécois culture and the province of Quebec itself, but man, we have eaten it all over Canada. Some of the best I've had was at the Canadian Potato Museum & Antique Farm Machinery Museum in Prince Edward Island. Yeah, I've been to the Potato Museum. 

52 Ancestors Challenge Week 18: "Social" - Family in the Freeport Fire Department

I am not much of a joiner, that is to say that I don't belong to a lot of clubs or organizations. The few organizations I do belong to I do so just in name really. For the most part, I pay my dues for the benefit of receiving whatever publications the organization provides its members or to have access to some database or discounted service. In short, I'm not one looking to lead. I do enjoy attending a conference or two though. Such events provide opportunities to be social.

I don't find many records for my ancestors being active in clubs or organization either except my paternal grandmother's parents, Charles Henry (March 26, 1896 - June 14, 1949) and Anna Marie Sauer-Henry (July 19, 1899 - May 8, 1986) who were leaders in their Rabbit Club and Goat Club. I wrote about the goats a few times in my blog. 

But then there is my paternal grandfather's dad, Abram "Abe" Earle (January 13, 1891 - November 18, 1973), who, along with his brother-in-laws, was active the the Freeport (NY) Fire Department.

Amongst the family treasures that have been bestowed to me overtime, there are photos that once belonged to Abe and his wife, my great grandma, Ethel Mae Losee-Earle (February 14, 1896 - May 27, 1960), that show some organizational gatherings. Some of the photos show Ethel's brothers and Abe in their fire department dress uniforms gathered around the company's trucks.

This image was included in an Images of America book about Freeport, New York. It was written by Cynthia J. Krieg, who is affiliated with Freeport Historical Society, and Regina G. Feeney, a librarian at Freeport Memorial Library.  My grandfather's maternal uncle, Luman Losee (June 26, 1894 - January 13, 1954) is in the front row #4 from the right. I think her brothers, Fredrick Losee (About 1903 - May 5, 1926) and Forest Losee (August 11, 1897 - February 2, 1945) are also in this image but I can't pick them out. My grandpa knew his Uncle Forest but my father didn't; Forest died very young. Uncle Fred died even younger. He died in an accident, he fell off a roof. Again, though I suspect all 3 brothers, Luman, Fred, and Forest Losee are in this picture below.

For those of you unfamiliar with the series, Images of America, published by Arcadia Publishing, they are kind of like photo albums of a specific community. Each image is captioned though, however, there isn't a lot of text to these books. These aren't heavy history books. They're really kind of fun. They're a great way to introduce novices and young people to the history of their community. There might be one about your community, if not, think about creating one. I understand Arcadia is very easy to work with. 

There is also another book in which the above photo appears; An Illustrated History of the Freeport Fire Department, 1893-2008 by Miguel Bermudez and Donald Giordano published in 2008. I am not acknowledged in the book, nor is credit given to my family's photo collection but I did give digital images to one of the authors of all the Freeport Fire Department photos in my family's possession and they appear on pages 111 - 113. Including this one below of what my grandmother calls a ragamuffin parade. The image horrifies me as it shows several member in black face; a truly racist imagery. 

In the Illustrated History, this image is captioned identifying Luman as the drum major and Forest as the tuba player as well as my great grandpa, Abe, as the clarinet player, kneeling # 3 from the right. Now I can pick Abe out based on other photos I have seen of him. I know his son, Allen, played clarinet, as did I in school. However, I didn't know Abe played clarinet as well. I believe the clarinet that belonged to his some, Allen Earle (March 17, 1916 - November 8, 1956), is still in the possession of my Uncle Thomas, now if that clarinet was also Abe's clarinet, pictured above, I have no idea. Anyway - - horrifying image, right?

These parades were an annual occurrence in many communities in the New York metropolitan area. Typically they were held around Halloween and featured children in their costumes, but obviously, this wasn't just a children's activity and I do not know when it took place because the photo is not labeled but it has to be after April 30, 1923 when the Russell Park section of Roosevelt, Long Island, New York was annexed into the town of Freeport. I can tell from the band's drum.

There were ragamuffin parades and then there was also Ragamuffin Day, which was something else entirely that my grandmother has told me about. Begun around 1870, Ragamuffin Day was once part of Thanksgiving celebrations which my grandmother recounted participating in to me on several occasions. Much like Halloween, it involved children going door-to-door dressed as beggars seeking candy and playing tricks on non-complaint homeowners; soaping windows, ringing doorbells and running away, and similar shenanigans. Grandma said that she and her siblings didn't just beg for candy but preformed little skits, sang songs, or did some dance for the neighbors who provided them with sugary treats or change.

The racist image of the ragamuffin parade in Freeport disturbs me, but it also reminds me a little bit of a much less scornful social practice that still takes place in Newfoundland, where my great grandpa Abe was born. There they have Mummers.

 

Creepy as all get out Mummers go mummering or mumming. It is a Christmas-time, house-visiting tradition in which groups of friends or family member dress in disguise and visit neighbors. If welcomed in, the mummers often do an informal performance followed by the homeowner having to correctly guess the mummers' identities. Once identified, the mummers remove their disguises and spend some time eating and drinking with the hosts before traveling on as an even bigger group to the next house.

One thing about that Russell Park section of Roosevelt/Freeport, that is where my family lived long before Lillian Russell for whom the section was named. Lillian Russell, an incredibly well-known actress of her time, lived in the area. She was born Helen Louise Leonard and the Illustrated History states Leonard Avenue in Freeport was named after her. I beg to differ. I am certain Leonard Ave is named after the man who originally owned the property, that would be my 4th great grandfather, Leonard Losee (January 21, 1817 - November 21, 1886). Let me show you.

Here is a map from 1914. The green box represents the original size of the property owned by my Losee family. The red box indicates the last bit of Losee Family property sold to local developer and politician, Albin Johnson, in 1912. The street highlighted in yellow shows Luman Street. Luman? Sound familiar? It no longer bears his name but prior to WWI and the family's sale of their property, the map shows the first 1500 feet of the western end of Independence Ave was called Luman Street after my grandpa's uncle. The blue boxes show two homes owned by Losee family members on Stevens Street, once known as Losee Place. The northern blue box was owned by F. Losee, could have been Forest Losee but might have been Frederick, and the lower blue box was owned by Georgianna Losee (July 19, 1866 - November 29, 1935), the sister of my great-great grandfather, John M. Losee Jr. (August 17, 1841 - February 10, 1918). 

Street naming business aside, all these aforementioned social practices give me a sense that my great grandparents generation, often referred to as the Lost Generation (those born from 1883 to 1900 who came of age during World War I and the Roaring Twenties), were involved in their communities and socialized with their neighbors in a way that I have not experienced in my lifetime. Sure I belonged to Girl Scouts as a kid and sold cookies door-to-door. I marched with the Junior High and High School bands on Memorial Day playing my own clarinet too, but I don't think I experience "community" quite like they did. And, honestly, I'm a bit jealous that I don't have that sort of natural inclination to be part of my community. 

52 Ancestors Challenge Week 13: "Sisters" - Jean, Ann, and Clare Henry

My family is female-rich. I have 2 sisters. My father has 2 sisters. My mother has 3 sisters. Grandma Gardner had 3 sisters. Grandma Earle had 2 sisters. Grandpa Gardner had 1 sister. Grandpa Earle only had 1 brother, though, no sisters for him. Plus, I have 4 nieces, no nephews. If I expand my view outward, I also have 9 female first cousins, and only 3 male first cousins. I'm incredibly close to many of my 2nd cousins, many of which are, you guessed it, girls! So, lots of girls running around.

When my mind tries to recall images that depict "sisters" in my family history a few spring to mind but two in particular cry out.

First, this image comes from a newspaper article about my great grandparents, Charles Henry (March 26, 1896 - June 14, 1949) and Anna Sauer-Henry-Stoothoff (July 19, 1899 - May 8, 1986), and their commitment to healthy eating for their kids. (Get it, get it? They are all just kids there. Bwahahaha. Baby goats are called kids. Anyway...) 

It is an article I have reflected on in my blog in the past. "The Hunt for Health Food Started Goat Society," was published in The Eagle on July 30, year unknown. The Eagle must have been a local Long Island newspaper. I have never been able to find the full issue. I just love the image, though, of my grandmother, Clare and her sister Regina, more commonly referred to as Jean. Look at them wrangling in those baby goats. Grandma had to be about 6, Jean about 11. That would place the article in 1935, give or take.

The second image also comes from my shared Henry family photos. When I think about it, that really the only line I have images from. 

This is a photo of my grandmother's two sister, Jean again, the older taller sister on the right, and Ann on the left. 

Ann (age, 9) and Regina "Jean" (13)

This one clearly shows the year it was taken, 1937. Based on other photos obviously taken that same day, they were taken on June 26, 1937. Here are all 6 Henry siblings on the steps including Jean, Ann, my grandmother, and the 3 brothers: Charlie, Bobby, and Richard. The date is in the lower right corner.

These two photos show the other children. The one on the right was taken on that day. The one on the left of Charlie and Bobby looks to be from a different day. They have on different suits, and Charlie looks younger than 15 years old, as he is in the group photo.

Charlie and Bobby

Richie (5) and Clare (8)

All except my grandmother are now deceased.

My grandmother and Aunt Ann were closer in age but all 3 sisters were by all measures close. As married woman, grandma and Aunt Jean lived across the street from one another. All three sisters sent their combine 17 children to the same local Catholic school. There is a funny story about when my grandmother's mother, Anna Marie Sauer-Henry-Stoothoff, married her second husband, Frank Stoothoff (February 21, 1903 - September 17, 1993). They wed in October of 1963 It was long after Ann (the elder) had been widowed and became a grandmother. Her first husband, Charles Henry, died in June of 1949. By 1963 Ann had 35 grandchildren, 10-13 of whom attended Cure of Ars Roman Catholic School at the time. All 3 of Ann's daughters (Clare Earle, Jean Drew, and Ann Cramer) sent letters into school to account for their children's absences. It is not common for someone to take off to go to their grandma's wedding. It is certainly not common for so many kids to take off from the same school on the same day to go to their grandmother's wedding. That got the teacher-sisters (all nuns) talking and that is when they put together that all the Earles, Drews, and Cramers were cousins.

 

Fourth Stop: Most Holy Trinity Cemetery, Brooklyn - Some Sauers

After three and half hours of cemetery visits through 3 other cemeteries, on Saturday, April 24, 2021, Cousin Peter and I stopped for a leisurely lunch. It was really only the waiter who seemed to want it to be leisurely lunch though. Pete and I really didn't have much more time to get to the 3 other cemeteries on my list. One of the cemeteries left on the list closes at 4 p.m. and it was already 3:20 when we finished lunch. We thus entered the sprint phase of our journey that day. Next stop: Most Holy Trinity Cemetery.

Our destination was that of our great-great-great grandparents, George Sauer (11 June 1827 - 22 August 1891) and Anna Maria Schmitt-Sauer (6 August 1835 - 6 February1899).

This cemetery is unique in that all the markers are made of metal. Yes, metal. I have never seen anything like it before and couldn't resist knocking on a few just to confirm that, yes, they are mostly boxes constructed from some thin metal; tin, steel, zinc, perhaps. Even the large crosses were wood wrapped in metal.

Newer markers look perfectly square and uniform in color but most are in some state of rusting. George and Anna Maria are interred in Lott 66, Row 8, Grave 7 &/or 8. They themselves do not have a marker but their daughter, Barbara, married into the Neorgra family and they have a marker on the lot.

 

The Neogra family plot was purchased for the burial of George Sauer in 1891; Charles Neogra's father-in-law. His burial was followed by that of his wife Anna Maria in 1899. Then there are the following individuals:

• Ethel Redmann, (20 December 1905 - 11 January 1906)
• Infant daughter of Elizabeth Neogra-Redman who was just 23 days old when she died

• Cecilia Sauer, (14 July 1906 - 9 August 1907)
• Daughter of William Sauer and Agnes Gray-Sauer, my great-great grandparents who are buried in St. John Cemetery and who we visited earlier this day.

• James Leonard (25 December 1911 - 5 January 1912)
• Infant son of Josephine Neogra-Leonard and Michael Leonard. Grandson of Barbara Sauer-Neorgra and Charles Neogra.

• Barbara Sauer-Neogra (17 September 1861 - 11 January 1915)
• Daughter of William Sauer and Agnes Gray-Sauer

• William Neogra (29 October 1925 - 14 August 1926)
• Son of William Neogra and Mary Geopfert-Neogra. Grandson of Barbara Sauer-Neorgra and Charles Neogra.

• Charles Neogra (30 May 1857 - 20 May 1939)
• Husband of Barbara Sauer-Neogra. Son-in-law of William Sauer and Agnes Gray-Sauer.

We did not have much time to linger at this cemetery. It was actually our shortest cemetery visit, clocking in at just 11 minutes. I wish I had taken some more photos of the markers in various states of decay. I'm especially sad I didn't take a photo of the one that looked like a tree or something crashed into it. It was mangled like it had been in a car wreck. Sad. But, the next cemetery we had to get to was Evergreens, right next door, and it closes at 4 p.m. It was already after 3:30. So hurry, hurry, hurry.

Second Stop, part 1: St. John Cemetery, Middle Village Queens - William and Agnes Sauer

The second cemetery Cousin Pete and I visited in our marathon of cemetery visits on Saturday, April 24, 2021, was St. John Cemetery on Metropolitan Ave. in Middle Village, Queens, NY. What a truly beautiful and well maintained cemetery. 

This is the location of the graves of more than a few of my Grandma Earle's people and thus ancestors Peter and I share. Pete and I are second cousins. My Grandma Earle and his grandma were sisters.

My plan was to visit the burial locations of these 5 individuals:

1. Our great-great grandfather on Grandma Earle's mother's side; William Sauer (11 February 1870 - 23 December 1932) Section 24, Row K, Grave 106

2. Our great-great grandmother, William's wife; Agnes Gray-Sauer (27 October 1871 - 30 December 1941) who is buried with her husband in Section 24, Row K, Grave 106. 

3. Our great-great grandmother on Grandma Earle's father's side; Annette "Anne" Hinch-Henry (22 February 1868 - 2 March 1952) Section 18, Row O, Grave 78

4. Our 3rd great grandmother, Anne's mother-in-law; Mary Carrillion-Henry (October 1855 - 8 January 1907) Section 13, Row O, Grave 7

5. Our 3rd great grandfather, Mary's husband; Victor Henry (March 1838 - 9 November 1896) Section 16, Row A, Grave 403

In addition to these 5, several of Peter's mother's relatives are buried in St. John Cemetery and so we also ventured to find some of his family graves. 

We got to St. John at about 11:20 and left a little after 1 p.m. It was certainly the longest of our stays inside any one cemetery that day. We probably also got our most steps in there wandering about trying to find the grave numbers etched into the bottom right corners of headstones.

Because we visited so many graves in St. John, I am going to blog about one gravesite at a time. The first of which is the grave of our great-great grandparents, William Sauer (11 February 1870 - 23 December 1932) and Agnes Gray-Sauer (27 October 1871 - 30 December 1941) in Section 24, Row K, Grave 106. 

You might wonder why we didn't start at the lowest numbered section. Well, the way the numbering of sections are laid out, 24 is actually closest to the entrance we came through. This is an enormous Catholic Cemetery; nearly 190 acres. You need a map. However, we didn't need to go to the office. Signs people! Signs.

You can kind of see Peter and I reflected in the map sign. We came in through the gate between sections 1 and 2. It took some navigating but we found William and Agnes in section 24 in Row K which runs perpendicular to the red road way parallel to Woodhaven Blvd. Their headstone faces towards Furmanville Ave. And yes! They have a headstone.

The stone on the right is for our great-great grandparents as well as their daughter, also named Agnes. The stone on the left is for their son, also named William. Not real creative with their name choices. You can see in the background the Christ the Redeemer Mausoleum which helps to give one a sense of the location within the cemetery

William Sauer the younger was the father of our grandmothers' cousin who we lovingly called "Uncle Billy." I just recently learned Uncle Billy passed away last year on January 16, 2020 at the age of 95. His father had a rather short life though. He died of pneumonia at the age of 25.

Great-great grandpa William Sauer was an ambulance driver back when the ambulance was a wooden wagon. Below is a photo of William and his horse evidently hitched to a wagon of some sort.

My grandma also talked about their monkey. Yes, great-great grandpa had a monkey. One of her earliest memories was of her grandfather William holding her and feeding buttered crackers to the monkey who would lick off the butter and throw the crackers on the ground. I don't know who the people are in the photo below but I know that is the monkey.

I also have a beautiful image of my great great grandmother, Agnes Gray-Sauer, in a family group photo. That is Agnes right in the middle. In front of her are 3 of her 5 children. The child standing on the left is William Sauer (1901-1926) and the young girl is my great grandmother, Anna Marie Sauer-Henry (1896-1986). The little boy in the middle is Joseph Sauer (1902-1968). 

The woman on the left holding the baby is Margaret Gray-Fitzpatrick (1878-1956). She is holing her son, Raymond Fitzpatrick (1906-1977). The woman in the back on the left is Agnes & Margaret's sister, Mary "Mamie" Gray (1869-1929). The woman on the right in the back not holding a child is Elizabeth "Eliza" Gray (1879-1970). I am not sure who the woman on the far right is, the one holding the sleeping baby. I suspect the baby might be Agnes's 4th child, Cecilia Sauer (14 July 1906 - 9 August 1907) which provides a pretty narrow window of time in which this photo was taken; sometime during Cecilia's lifetime. Cecelia was buried in Most Holy Trinity Cemetery which was part of my cemetery marathon. I'll write about that visit soon.

Defining Family

I have lots of thoughts floating around in my mind regarding this topic of defining family so if this post comes across as scattered, it is.

2018 was in general an exhausting year. My plans to have a warm sunny Christmas vacation with Cousin Kelly were thwarted a bit by the occurrence of significant passings in my family.

Our trip to Miami began on December 22. That evening I received the call that my father's cousin Brian had passed away after a brief but heartbreaking battle with cancer. 

Cousin Brian was only 51. Yesterday would have been his 52 birthday. He was the youngest of my father's first cousins and really the first of this very large group of first cousins to pass away from an illness like this. 

Some, including myself, would argue that mental illness is what took my father's other cousin, Richard, back in 1995. However, Richard took his own life, he didn't wither away in a hospice bed like Brian. But I digress...


The youngest great grandchild of Charles Henry & Anna Marie Sauer-Henry, Brian was a quiet, gentle soul. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in early October. And it was a fast moving aggressive cancer. When he was asked by his siblings about announcing his diagnosis and inviting family to visit, I was deeply touched by his request to see me. It had been years since I had really seen Brian but he was very much my family and his passing brings me to tears daily still.

Years ago I had requested Brian to take an Ancestry DNA test because he would have the y-chromosome for my father's mother's line; the Henrys. A very private man, Brian consented to take the test. Among those of my father's cousins who have taken the test, I match closest to Brian. DNA defines us as family, no doubt.

On our way from Miami to Key West on December 26, I received a call from my father that my Grandma Mary, my step-grandmother, had passed away on my dad's birthday after a rather long, exhausting, decline that I cannot attribute to anything other than old age. 

Over the past few years her organs had slowly stopped functioning. Others in our household would say that it was really just the last few months but she had been living with us for the last 4 years. First it was a fall that put her in a wheelchair and into the back bedroom of our house. It was not long after that she needed to be put on a colostomy bag. Another year or so later, after a series of infections, she received a foley catheter. When moved back into the hospital for the last time before hospice, they discovered she was not actually swallowing. Her alimentary canal was not moving the food fully through her. Slowly, her organs were failing.

Grandma Mary was, again, my step grandmother. We had no biological connection. I didn't need her to take a DNA test to know that. But I lived with her everyday for the last few years of her life. She had been my grandmother for the last 30 years since my father remarried in 1989. My mother disowned me when I was in my mid-twenties so it feels Grandma Mary had been my family longer than my own mother. DNA does not defines us as family though.

Last night the first episode of season five of Finding Your Roots aired on PBS. The episode was subtitled Grandparents and Other Strangers. It featured comedian Andy Samberg and author George R. R. Martin. The pair of guest has similar stories really, although they were kind of polar opposites.

SPOILER ALERT:

Samberg, who knew his mother had been adopted, set out on a journey to discover his biological heritage whereas Martin, whose family had held great disdain for his grandfather for abandoning the family, uncovered an NPE; a Non-Paternity Event. Unbeknownst to Martin his grandfather, the abandoner, was not his biological grandfather. 

Samberg's story was remarkable in that not only did the program determine who his biological maternal grandparents were, his mother met her previously unknown half-brothers and received photographic evidence of her biological parents' association.

The two guests stories underscored this genealogical matter weighing on me for much of the last half of 2018; how do we define family. 

I don't have an answer. I just spend an awful lot of time thinking about it lately.

Because you spit in a tube and match some stranger half-way across the country, you're family? 
I would say, YES! 

But what if you spit in that tube and find out all the people around you, the ones who have known and loved you your whole life, are not biologically your family as in the case of Martin (and so many others I have encountered this year), are you no longer family? 
I would say, NO, you are still family even though you have no common ancestors. 

Which brings up other philosophical contemplations for me; like, does the definition of family change over time? And if it does, does that change relate to physical proximity? Is it impacted by death? If I define my dead people as my family and all my biological connections as well as those who I "live with" how big is this family unit? 

Fundamentally who do I personally define as my family?

...And can each of the living ones get me a discounted phone plan or gym membership? I don't think I am making the most of my family discount potential.

Things that keep me up at night.

Joseph Sauer's WWII Dog Tag

This is a follow-up to this past Wednesday's semi-wordless post. Many bloggers have a Wordless Wednesday post in which they just put up a picture. That is what I did except the picture actually had words in it so it was only kind of a Wordless Wednesday.

This is the image I posted. It is the WWII dog tag of my great grandmother's brother, Joseph A. Sauer.

This year marks the 100th anniversary, or centenary, of the start of WWI, or what at the time was called The Great War. WWI began on July 28, 1914 and lasted until November 11, 1918. You will see that there will be many events and programs this year reflecting on WWI. 

Joseph served in WWII though which started on September 1, 1939 and lasted until September 2, 1945. Joseph was kind of old to be a soldier at that time. He was born on May 6, 1902 in Manhattan. He enlisted on September 9, 1942 at the age of 40. He died on December 23, 1968, long after WWII. He is interred in Long Island National Cemetery in Pinelawn, NY. 

Joseph's brother-in-law, my great-grandpa Charles A. Henry, who was just a few years older than Joseph, served in WWI. Charles was born March 26, 1896. He enlisted on September 9, 1918. Joseph at that time would have only been 16; narrowly escaped the age requirement for enlisting in WWI.

Here is a photo of Charles A. Henry in his WWI uniform.

Although I love that WWI photo of my great-grandpa, I find something so poignant about Joseph's WWII dog tag. The purpose of the dog tag was to identify the dead. And although Joseph survived WWII, he knew when he was issued that item what its purpose was. It must have served as a constant reminder of the risk he was taking. 

Although the item does not reveal much genealogical information it does tell an important family story about service to ones country. It does list the name and address of the individual's next of kin, though. That much is genealogical. In this case, the unmarried Joseph's next of kin was his widowed mother. If his father was alive at the time, it would have listed him.

I don't know if you can see it but in the lower right hand corner there is a small stamped "O." This was Joseph's blood type. It was placed there to inform medic should the soldier need a blood transfusion. At this time they did not know about the Rh factor; the + or - that now accompanies a letter when you are told your blood type. I am also "O"; "O+" like my father.

In my opinion, the dog tag is the most personal of all items ever issued by the government. These items were there throughout all the battles and service the soldier endured. I am not sure what Joseph did in the war. I have never been able to find his WWII Enlistment Record. And I am not entirely sure how my father came to own this tag that belonged to his great uncle but it shakes me to my core to think about what this tag might have "seen" regardless of what war it was issued for or what service Joseph gave his country.

Wordless Wednesday, Kind Of...

Happy Women's History Month

I know that it is already March 7th and I have not yet wished you a happy Women's History Month. That is because, honestly, Women's History Month kind of pisses me off though. I mean, women are half the population; aren't we half the history? Shouldn't we have half the months? I know the month is supposed to bring focus to a portion of history that has long been neglected but still, I refuse to let just March be my opportunity to focus on women. I write about the women in my family all year long.

I do, however, have one family photo that jumps to mind whenever Women's History is mentioned. This photo:

Look at all those women and their children.

There is some debate in the Henry family about when this photo was taken and if everyone in it has been properly identified. I do know for certain, though, that the young girl standing in front in the white dress is my Great-Grandmother, Anna Marie Sauer-Henry-Stoothoff. She was born in 1899 and so it has been estimated that this photo was taken in 1909.

The women at the center of the photo is my Great-Great-Grandmother Agnes Gray-Sauer who was born in 1871 which means if this was indeed taken in 1909 that Agnes is about 38 here. That is how old I am today. I have to say, we look pretty good for our ages.

The boys to the left of Great Grandma Anna are most definitely her brothers, William Sauer and Joseph Sauer. William on the far left was born in 1901, Joseph Sauer, in the middle, was born in 1903.

I will not go on to further identifying the individuals in the photo because, again, I am not absolutely certain if I have the information right.

I just really like that I have a photo that dates back so far in my family's history. I like that the women and children are gathered together. And I like that most of them, especially my Great-Great-Grandmother in the center looks, look pretty happy.

New York State Marriage Records

I follow the New York Public Library's Milstein Division of U.S. History, Local History and Genealogy on Facebook.

This past week, on Monday, February 25, 2013, they posted a link to Family Search's database of New York State Marriages from 1908 to 1935. Note that this Family Search collection does not include the New York City marriage records. Those are indexed online and available through the New York City Municipal Archives which I have blogged about in the past.

NYC marriages are indexed online at:

Grooms: http://www.italiangen.org/NYCMarriage.stm ; or http://www.germangenealogygroup.com/nycmarriage.stm

Brides: http://www.italiangen.org/NYCBridessearch.asp; or http://www.germangenealogygroup.com/NYCBrides.stm

No, this database from Family Search includes the rest of New York State's marriage records but only for that specific time frame; 1908 - 1935; https://familysearch.org/search/collection/1618491

Looking at my family tree, that is the time period in which my great grandparents were married. I have 4 sets of great-grandparents - as do you and everyone, unless of course your parents are first cousins which doesn't really happen too much in today's day and age but I digress. I have 4 sets of great-grandparents.

My mother's maternal grandparents, my great-grandparents, James Aloysius Fay (1893-1964) married Mary Prince (1893-1983) in 1919 in the City of New York; so they aren't in this database. I have their marriage certificate already, anyway.

My mother's paternal grandparents, Almond Desjardins (a.k.a. Albert Gardner) (1891-1946) married Mary Elizabeth "Mayme" Sharp (1891 – 1961) in 1922; but again, they also married in the City of New York. Therefore, they too are not going to be in this database. No worries, though, I already have their marriage certificate too. [Hee, hee, hee. Stay with me here. I am trying to make a point.]

My father's maternal grandparents, Charles Aloysius Henry (1896-1949) married Anna Marie Sauer (1899-1986) in 1921. Where? In the City of New York! Do I have their marriage certificate already?? YES!

My father's paternal grandparents, Abram Thomas Earle (1891-1973) married Ethel Mae Losee (1896 - 1960) in 1915. Where? Um. Not in New York City. They married in Freeport. And although I knew their date of marriage from the church register at the Methodist Church in Freeport, Long Island, New York. I do not own a copy of their marriage certificate. That is until now.

A marriage certificate provides information in addition to the date of marriage and names of the couple. It often includes the couple's birth dates; although, now always, sometimes it is just states their ages. It may also list the couple's parents and witnesses.

The witnesses may or may not be relatives to the bride and groom. Regardless, giving these individuals a little bit of research can add some color and character to the lives of your family. These relationships were important; sometimes more important than one's one siblings and parents. Witnesses are worth investigating. They could be distant cousins, neighbors, schoolmates, etc. Check them out.

But why is it that I took the trouble to name all those great-grandparents of mine that would not have their marriages found in this database? Because if their marriage fell into the appropriate time period, then maybe their siblings marriage would be in that same time period of 1908 - 1935. And maybe, just maybe, their siblings didn't marry in the City of New York but rather somewhere else in the state. It was worth a shot. And one of the great things about this database is that if the certificate names the bride's or groom's parents, they are indexed too.

Poke around. Take a tangent. Don't ignore cousins. You might find something really interesting, if not really helpful to your research and the lives of your family.

Speaking of Memorial Cards...

This is the oldest memorial card I own; Ann Gray died April 14, 1904. Two or three years ago my paternal grandmother, who everyone calls Nanny, gave a bunch of memorial cards to me. This was among them.

Now my Nanny was born in 1929. Her mother was only a very small child in 1904; great-grandma was born in 1899. Therefore this memorial card had to have come from my grandmother's grandmother, Agnes Gray-Sauer (my father's mother's mother's mother - for those of you drawing charts). Agnes Gray-Sauer was born in 1871 and died in 1941. I believe this to me the memorial card for Agnes Gray-Sauer's mother; Anna Hughes-Gray.

Note that these women never really hyphenated their last names. This is a modern day convention that I use to keep track of my female ancestors.

According to Ann's memorial card she was 68 years old when she died in 1904 placing her birth in about 1836. According to her death certificate though, Ann was 60 years old at the time of her death. I am not sure which date is correct but for my records I use the later, 1844, as her year of birth. 

I do not own a copy of Ann's death certificate; #14429 Manhattan 1904 from the City of New York. I have, however, observed the document at the New York City Municipal Archives at 31 Chamber's St. in Manhattan. 

The New York City Municipal Archives is a treasure for anyone who had ancestors who lived in New York City; and not just Manhattan but all of the boroughs; Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, and the Bronx. My next entry will be on how to use this research facility; for now though, more on Ann Gray.

From her death certificate I have noted many facts. Ann died after having suffered from pneumonia for about a week. Her parents names were Terrence and Eleanor Hughes; no maiden name was given for her mother. Ann lived at 542 East 11th St. in Manhattan but was born in Ireland. According to the death certificate she had lived in the U.S. for 54 years placing her date of immigration at about 1850. She is interned at Calvary Cemetery which I have visited many time but have not yet seen her grave-site. I will soon...I promise.