Great Grandma Mayme Sharp-Gardner in Union Cemetery, Sayville, New York.

On Saturday, April 3, 2021, I visited the grave of my great grandma, Mayme Sharp-Gardner. This side of my family has always provided me more questions than answers. I know Mayme died on January 25, 1961 in Sarasota, Florida and is buried on Long Island in Union Cemetery in Sayville, NY. She was 69 years old when she died, having been born Mary Elizabeth Sharp near Sherebrooke, Quebec, Canada on September 2, 1891 to Lydia Marie McLean-Sharp and Daniel Sharp. I know this because after my grandfather died in 2005, my Aunt Nancy, who has also since passed, was cleaning otu grandpa's house and came across some family papers. She sent those documents to me. They inclued Mayme's obituary and death certificate.

I don't know what Mayme was doing in Sarasota. I am certain she lived in Patchogue, Long Island at the time of her death. I don't know why she is buried in Union Cemetery - her husband is in Calvary Cemetery in Queens, New York and her infant daughter, May, is in Cedar Grove Cemetery. I don't know how she even met her husband. She married Albert Gardner (a.k.a. Almond Desjardins) on September 5, 1922 in Manhattan, NY. According to the 1920 Census, though, in '20 Mayme was in Lowell, Massachusetts and Albert was in Oaklahoma City, Oklahoma. How did they ever meet?

In any case, Mayme outlived her husband Albert Gardner by 15 years. For an unknown portion of those years she lived with Albert's sister, Florence V. Desjardins-King. When Florence died in 1952, Mayme continued to live with her brother-in-law, Elbert G. King. Uncle Al, as my grandpa called Elbert, was my grandfather's favorite uncle. 

Just recently, my sister, Rachel, just moved to Sayville and Union Cemetery is about a mile from her house. I totally had forgotten Great Grandma Mayme was buried there until I started this project of grave visiting. 

Union Cemetery doesn't have an office. The building in front of Union Cemetery is actually a Friendly's Ice Cream Shoppe and they don't know nothin' 'bout burying no dead people. 

It took some steps to finally tracked down the person who had the Union Cemetery records. First I found a number for the Union Cemetery Association that went to voicemail. A very kind woman called me back and left me a voicemail instructing me to call the Raynor & D'Andrea Funeral Parlor and ask for Vivian. Vivian doesn't work there, as far as I could tell, but rather Vivian has the Cemetery's records. Once I got a hold of Vivian, she told me she'd get back to me with the plot information I requested. And she did get back to me very quickly and shared with me another long forgotten fact, that my great grandma is buried with Gordons; in the plot purchased by Baldwin Gordon. "Hmm," I thought, "Who are these Gordons? That sounds familiar." 

Um, yeah, they sound familiar. Elbert G. King's middle name is Gordon; a common male name, I know, but in this case, it is his mother's maiden name as well. His mother was Alice Gordon-King (1871-1956). Elbert must have inherited the plot from her. Alice is not buried in Union Cemetery but her father John Harris Gordon (1844-1878) and her grandfather, the purchaser of the plot, Baldwin Cook Gordon (1803-1861) are in this family's plot at Union Cemetery along with their wives; Theresa Newton-Gordon (1845-1933) and Jerusha Raynor-Gordon (1807-1888), respectively. Elbert must have given my grandpa a vacant grave in the plot in which to bury Mayme.

There is no headstone for Mayme. This is no surprise to me. My family rarely has headstones. However, the ones around her were quite impressive.

Brush with the Law Proves Location and Name Change

When I started my genealogy research 22 years ago, I began on my father's side of the family trying to unpuzzle for myself some of the modern day connections I did not quite understand. I stayed on that side of the family for a very long time. I did not truly dig into my mother's lineage until after my grandpa passed away in 2004; about 9 years ago.

One of the big obstacles in researching my mother's side has been the fact that there was a surname change. My Great-great-grandfather, Damas Desjardins, French-Canadian by birth, Anglicized his name to Thomas Gardner. I suspect this was in order to obtain more work and avoid ethnic discrimination. I cannot find anything official about the name change and back then, before Social Security, it was easier to assume an identity.

In some records he appears as Damas Desjardins, in others as Thomas Gardner, in others as Damas Gardner, and still others as Thomas Desjardins. To make matters even more confusing, his offspring indiscriminately used either last name as well. His son, my great grandfather, Almond Desjardins, like his father also chose to use a more American sounding first name; Albert. Almond/Albert was indeed born in the United States; his name just sounded very French.

This flip-flopping of names not only makes constructing searches challenging it makes proving anything a daunting task. I often hear myself saying, "Well, yes, I know it says that but it is the same man." Anything I can find that helps me to solidify this family's surname change is precious to me.

Mind you, this branch of the family has also had some run ins with the law in nearly every generation. Which brings me to an article from the Brooklyn Daily Star titled "Sing Sing for John Miller: L.I. City Man who Swindled Magnus Larsen Sent Up on Suspended Sentence - Five Others Given a Chance to Reform" from December 21, 1907. In it is mentioned Almond Gardner. The first time I have seen my great grandfather listed with his very French-sounding birth name and Anglicized surname. In addition to showing his name in that way, it also documents that the family moved. What a gem of a find!!

It reads as follows:

"Almond Gardner, a former Astoria boy whose folks now live at Patchogue, took a quantity of lead pipe and brass sewer traps from a house belonging to George B. Ruthman on Main street last November. He is only seventeen years old and has promised to behave."

Interestingly enough, 24 years later, Almond's baby brother, Damas Jr. is also arrested for burglarizing a house while in his teens. That time, though, the house was out in Patchoque and Damas Jr. stole an electric pump with his soon-to-be brother-in-law, Elbert King. I found that in a March 31, 1931 article in the Patchogue Advance titled "Young Men Arrested for Stealing Pump." Tsk, tsk, tsk. What is with these boys?

Had Almond not committed his juvenile crime, though, I might never have had such concrete proof that he was known by variations of the names Almond Desjardins and Albert Gardner. Additionally, I knew the family had moved to Patchoque between the 1900 and 1910 censuses. This article, though, helps me to narrow the date of the family's move to after November 1906, when the crime was committed, and before December 1907, when the article was written.