So this year's goal to visit all 56 great, great-great, and 3rd great grandparents' burial locations has begun. I have determined that I have already in my lifetime visited 25 of them, leaving me 31 to research and visit. As of today, I have the names of cemeteries and plot locations for 18 of those 31. I have also emailed two researching cousins to help me determine 6 gravesites. There are, however, a solid 8 that I'm really struggling with because I cannot find a date of death. Six of those people died in Quebec and one died in Ireland at a time when death certificates were not a legal requirement. The other one died in New York but its all really sketchy. Wait 'til I tell you about him. Anyway, I'm not giving up on any of them, I'm just not terribly hopeful that I will find them all or get to them this year given our current world health crisis.
Today's post is really about my visit to my great grandparents, James Aloysius Fay (11 February 1893 - 1 October 1964) and Mary Lily Prince-Fay (15 October 1893 - 17 July 1983). They are interred in Long Island National Cemetery in Pinelawn, New York. Their daughter, my grandma, Marilyn Irene Fay-Gardner is also buried there.
Marilyn died before I was born. I frequently visit her grave. The cemetery is less than 2 miles from my job. When I wasn't working from home I would regularly take my lunch to the cemetery and eat in my car next to grandma. Like so many of my family members grandma is buried at the beginning of her row.
I really love national cemeteries. I love the perspective caused by the uniform plots all lined up so neatly spaced.
It is pretty, especially decked out for Christmas but man, it is a bitch to find a plot. Everything looks exactly the same! You can't be like, "oh the stone is white, about so high, right near a water spicket" because there are about 100 of those. They are all white marble, 42 inches long, 13 inches wide, and 4 inches thick. They each weight approximately 230 pounds. You have to know the Lot, Section, Row, and Grave, whatever way the specific cemetery records their locations.
James and Mary Fay are buried in section 2D, grave 704. Their daughter Marilyn is buried in section 2D, grave 1440. So I must have been to this grave before. Look how close it is to grandma. My car is parked right next to Marilyn there. Her parents are 19 graves north and 10 rows west in the same section. They almost line up perfectly on the angle.
James served in World War I. I'm not sure what his service entailed but that is why he is buried in a national cemetery. Grandma is there because her husband served in the navy in WWII.
It's a beautiful stone, isn't it? They are all made of the same marble but not all of them have this marble look to them. Most are just stark white. I love the gray veining running through this one.
I vaguely remember Mary Prince-Fay. She was the second to last of my great grandparents to pass. I was 9 when she died. She lived in Florida and I'm not sure why she was in New York when I met her. I must have been about 7. I just recall her being very confused as to who I was. She kept asking me if I was Mary; my aunt. I do remember when she died but I surely did not attend any of her services or the burial.
Her name is inscribed on the back of the stone. The serviceman's name generally goes on the front of the stone; and yes, mostly its servicemen. I'm not sure I have ever seen a servicewoman's grave, now that I think of it but again, they all look the same in a national cemetery; maybe I have walked past 100s. Part of the reason I think the man's name is on the front is in part because women usually outlive their husbands.
Marilyn is listed on the front of her stone but that is because she predeceased her husband not because she served in the military, she did not see. Her husband's name is also on her stone even though he is not interred there. Grandpa, well, a portion of my grandpa's cremains are on my bookshelf.
So there they are, my great grandparents, James Aloysius Fay (11 February 1893 - 1 October 1964) and Mary Lily Prince-Fay (15 October 1893 - 17 July 1983). Two of my 31 graves to visit, 29 to go...
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