It is a fairly frequent experience for me to venture out to a cemetery where some relative is interred to find there is no tombstone for them. I find unmarked graves sad and I wish I could afford to mark them all but, damn, headstones are expensive.
Last year I did a presentation for the Allen County Public Library Genealogy Center about a project of mine related to a family tombstone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw53oHpcfgA
In brief, during the pandemic I planned a project to visit all the gravesites of my direct ancestors back to my 3rd great grandparents. In general that could be a total of 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great grandparents,16 great-great grandparents, and 32 3rd great grandparents; a total of 62 souls in all. For me, though, both my parents are living as well as my nonagenarian grandma so I had the potential need to visit 59 graves.
As a genealogist though, I have already visited many gravesites. After evaluating the "unvisited," my list was whittled down to 30 graves to visit. There are 9 I am still struggling to locate; most on my French Canadian lines, likely all in Quebec. That means I had to visit 21 unvisited gravesites for this project. I determined where I thought each grave was based on death certificates, obituaries, and/or family members. Fourteen of those 21 graves are in 6 cemeteries within the boundaries of the City of New York.
Do you sense where this is going?
Field trip! I visited all 6 of those cemeteries in one crazy day!
During our 4th stop in the 2nd cemetery, my cousin Peter and I saw this site in St. John Cemetery in Middle Village, Queens, New York; Section 16, Row A, Grave 403. Can you pick out the grave for my 3rd great grandpa, Victor Henry (March 1838 - November 9, 1896)?
Yeah that's it. Right there in the middle. Broken.
Like I said, it is rare my ancestors have a headstone so to find this one broken broke my heart. I immediately began a family campaign to replace the stone which was a process in and of itself (also discussed in the video).
What I want to highlight here, though, is the hidden cost of replacing a headstone or erecting a marker on an unmarked grave. It is not just a matter of going to a stone carver and picking out something pretty to bear your loved one's name and dates of birth and death. Oh no, it is so much more than that. Depending on the cemetery, there may be many fees; fees to review their records, fees to remove the damaged stone, permit fees to allow the stone carver to place a new stone, and something called perpetual care fees.
Now maybe you'll be lucky to avoid all that but my ancestors were Catholics and in New York City. If yours were too, be prepared to pay up. Well, think about it. Any land in New York City is expensive and maybe the separation of church and state means a cemetery with religious affiliation doesn't have to pay taxes to the state on that land (I don't know) but even so, once a cemetery sells a plot, how do they continue to make any money? Someone has to pay the people who mow the lawn and manage the records, so most cemeteries charge maintenance fees to grave owners for that very reason.
So, perpetual care... According to the New York State Division of Cemeteries, "All cemeteries must cut the grass on all graves and provide some degree of maintenance to other types of final resting places." Cemeteries can sell “endowed” or “perpetual” care services, meaning the individual who buys the plot pays a fee to the cemetery. The cemetery holds or invests that money to earn profits thus being able to continue long term care beyond basic grass cutting, such as beautifying the cemetery with plantings, or cleaning the monument, or fixing pathways, etc. The contract between the cemetery and the buyer will show what care will be provided.
When a family has bought perpetual care, that does not ensure the cemetery will be cared for in perpetuity. If the cemetery's investment does not generate enough income to cover cost of maintenance, the cemetery could fall into disrepair or the cemetery may ask, but cannot require, the family to increase the amount of money in the account.
So, when a plot is purchased, the cemetery will ask the plot owner to pay a perpetual care fee. Frequently there was be an option to pay a lesser fee annually rather than a larger perpetual care fee. My family, not being financially well off, typically opt for the lesser annual fee. Then, time goes by and the plot owner stops paying it for whatever reason; maybe they themselves pass away as was the case with Victor Henry's son who bought the plot to bury his father. What this means is that the plot is left in arrears, which means you haven't paid your bill.
That adds up over time and when the next burial comes around, or in my case, when someone wants to restore a headstone or erect a new one, you have to pay that accrued back care fee.
My advice, just pay the perpetual care fee from the get go and communicate that to the family. That is why you find headstone that have "perpetual care" engraved on them. Sure, the cemetery may ask for additional funds but they can't demand care fees, not in NY they can't. Spare your descendants the expense and just pay the fee.
By the way, this is Victor Henry's new headstone; financed by many of his descendants and placed just in time for the 125th anniversary of his death. Without the exact dates of birth and death for all those interred, I opted to just put the years although I do much prefer when the whole date is present.
Such a lovely gesture!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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