52 Ancestors Challenge Week 3: Nickname - They Called my Grandpa Whitey

They called my grandpa Whitey.

Some nicknames are obvious derivatives of the person's name. My name is April. My close family members call me A. My brother-in-law Timothy, we call Tim. My niece Sofia, we call Sofie.

And then there are other nicknames that are descriptive, Skinny Vinnie, Fat Tony. 

But every once in a while there is a nickname that makes you wonder where that came from.

Everybody called him Whitey. The story is that it stemmed from his childhood when he had white hair, but he didn't have white hair when I knew him. So I kind of didn't get it. His hair was dark, maybe salt-and-pepperish but not white. Not really. 

I don't think I knew his real name until I was in my teens, and I think it was because he didn't like his first name, Clarence. I like it. I think its better than Clair for a man, which is now more commonly a woman's name but it really is a gender neutral name. Many noteworthy men were named Clair, or Claire. or Clare. Lots of well known Canadian hockey players, not at all a feminine bunch, have the name Claire. My other grandmother was named Clare. Maybe grandpa didn't like the soft, femininity associated with name Clare, even though he was Clarence. I don't know, I'm just speculating.

However, I have never found a genealogical record about him in which he is noted as Whitey. In records he is always Clarence. You kind of need to know the person's "real" name to find them in records.

A few years ago, my mother's cousin Anita shared with me this photo of my grandfather as a boy, maybe he's 3. It's not a clear photo. You can't see his face but look at that hair. It's as white as the sand he's playing with. Now I really do see why they called my grandpa Whitey.

52 Ancestors Challenge Week 2: Favorite Photo: Charles Henry circa 1899.

I did the Ancestors Challenge before, back in 2022. At that time I wrote about this favorite photo. To me "favorite" means that absolute top. You only have one favorite. Right? Maybe not. I do have many many photos I love. My office bookshelves are dominated by pictures, rather than books. So to pick another "favorite" photo is challenging for me.

I am not sure if I have shared this photo in my blog before but I cherish it:

That is my great grandfather, Charles Henry (26 March 1896 - 14 June 1949). He was born on March 26, 1896 in Woodhaven, Queens County, New York to Victor Henry and Annette Hinch-Henry. 

The physical photo was given to me by my grandmother's sister, my Great Aunt Ann Henry-Cramer. I am not sure when exactly but Aunt Ann has since past. 

I was so excited to receive such a precious heirloom. Charles looks as though he's only 2, maybe 3, perhaps 4 at most. It is not a dated image so I can only assume it was taken circa 1899, around the turn of the century.

So excited, I immediately share the image via FaceBook so that family members could see it. My father's cousin, Cousin Timmy took it upon himself to lovely restore it digitally. I shared his rendition above. The image below shows the physical photo I received on the left. Look at the beautiful work Tim did.

Amazing. Right?

I never knew Charles, which is not uncommon. Most people don't know a great grandparent. Sadly, though, my father didn't get to know this grandfather of his. Charles died 6 months before my dad was born. He died from a rare form of stomach cancer on June 14, 1949.

My grandmother was convinced he developed that cancer as a result of the work he did for a paint manufacturer. I mean they were still making paint with lead back in those days.

But in this image, he's just a baby with a whole life ahead of him, no thought of marrying and having children, no less grandchildren or great grandchildren. This was also years before the scandal of his father's murder/suicide. His father, Victor Henry, committed a murder/suicide on June 23, 1908. I write about that extensively.

But Charles, that little boy there has no idea of all the life ahead of him, all the changes and challenges he will face. It's just so innocent. I love it. I hate that giant floofy bow under his chin. I would have torn that thing off instantly. How irritating. But I love it.

Venting about the Ungrateful DNA Testers

I try to link my DNA matches to my tree. If I cannot figure out how we are connected and there is no tree from them to work with, I often reach out to the person. Very often I do not hear back. People typically take these tests just wanting the ethnicity profile and then they disappear. (By the way, the ethnicity profile is the least useful aspect of the test results, but anyway...) Sometimes people are actually working on a tree. I am, of course, willing to share all the information I have gathered. My tree is public, etc., etc., etc.

If they do reply, sometimes I get back some of the most confounding messages, like this one:

"...With the upmost respect, I am asking please to not add me or anyone you might believe is directly linked to me.

...we are extremely far apart as relations.

...be kind and respectful in return.

...your research and the immense family tree you have built is so impressive!

...I am an extremely private person..."

I simply told them that if they do not want to share information, they should take down their DNA or they will likely be contacted by others trying to figure out the connection.

But what I really wanted to say:

1. Telling me to be kind and respectful when I have been nothing but kind and respectful is not only unnecessary, it's fucking rude. I shared all my research information with you. You be kind and respectful. Say thank you!

2. We are not "extremely far apart." Trust me. 3rd, 4th, even 5th cousins is not extremely far apart. If we were extremely far apart, my tree would not have been useful to you.

3. I'll put whoever I damn well please into my tree.

4. I am happy to keep you out of my tree but you're not the only person ever born of an affair. Ease up there, unicorn.

5. If you are "an extremely private person", don't take a DNA test.

Grrr. It makes me so mad that people want the answers to their mystery but are not willing to share their findings. You want to know what you want to know and you used me to find it but now you won't share the discover. 

Take your DNA down. 

...and the word is utmost.

52 Ancestors Challenge Week 1: "Start at the Beginning" - This Year's Research Goal and Who Lured Me into This Kind of Research

My genealogy goal for this year is to write brief biographies on each of my direct ancestors back to at least my great-great grandparents.

Every summer I teach a genealogy course through a graduate program to pre-service librarians, those pursuing a masters degree in library and information science. I give them the assignment to write a brief biography on one of their ancestors, typically they choose a great grandparent. They need to use resources to substantiate names, dates, locations, and relationships in their ancestor's story. So now I am going to try it for 30 of my ancestors (2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great grandparents, 16 great-great grandparents). 

I have been at this genealogy thing for a long, long time now; about 40 years and it is high time that I put my work to words on paper for future generations of my family to inherit in some digestible format. I love documents but looking at a heap of them doesn't really explain what I have learned from all that I have gathered. So in addition to picking up the 52 Ancestor Challenge again, I've set my own time table to write these biographies. Basically I plan to write one every 2 weeks, give or take a day. I hope to share some of them. Although, any that includes information about the living will not make it onto my blog.

I plan to write about direct ancestors, but it isn't a direct ancestor who lured me into my genealogy research journey. I share this story often, every time I give a presentation, in fact. This is how I got started.

When I was a pre-teen, I attended a family reunion for my paternal grandfather's mother's family, the Losee Family. While we were there my paternal grandMOTHER's brother, Richie, and his wife, Jeannette showed up. I thought that odd because they weren't Losees, they were Henrys. I thought maybe the invitation was sent to extended family members as well but my grandma explained that Aunt Jeanette was born a Losee. That kind of blew my mind and I couldn't quite get my head around it. How were we related? At the time, neither my Grandpa Earle or Aunt Jeannette couldn't explain the connection. And that is what began my research. I had to figure out how Aunt Jeanette was related to Grandpa Earle.

To make the matter even more puzzling, I asked my grandmother who introduced who to their current spouse. "Oh no," she replied and proceeded to tell me that it was after she had married my grandpa that her brother Richie got engaged to Aunt Jeannette. Grandma's parents threw them an engagement party at the Henry home so that everyone could meet Jeannette. While there Grandpa asked Jeannette her last name. When Jeannette replied "Losee" my grandpa stated his mother's maiden name was Losee.

Now this reunion was back before the Internet so my research process began with a trip to the Freeport Memorial Library in Freeport, New York with the knowledge that the Losees had lived in Freeport for a very long time. While there my grandmother and I were taken into what they called the Memorial Room and up on the wall there was a plaque explaining that the library was a memorial to those in the community who had died in the American Civil War. Among the names was Benjamin F. Losee. 

After resolving that Grandpa and Jeanette were second cousins, they had great grandparents in common, I was then lured into figuring out who Benjamin F. Losee was and how I was related to him. (He's my great-great-great grandfather's brother, by the way.)

If you have been doing genealogy research for any period of time you know first hand that once you resolve the answer to one question, several more pop up. It is a never ending quest to piece together a puzzle that has no edges.

Serendipity in DNA Research

Once again, something remarkably serendipitous has occurred in my genealogy/DNA research.

A few years ago, my father’s cousin learned he had a daughter he had unknowingly fathered in the Philippines during his service in the Vietnam War. Things like this are happening all the time now with the inundation of direct-to-consumer DNA testing available. People are finding out deeply buried secrets about paternity and parentage; connections that might not otherwise had been discovered if not for the ubiquity of DNA testing.

The organization that brought my Cousin Anna Lisa to our awareness is called Father Founded. They are dedicated to supporting Amerasians, individuals of mixed American and Filipino heritage, in their efforts to connect with their American birth fathers, typically former GIs. These connections can have profound impacts of the individuals involved and their families; sometimes negatively but hopefully positively, as was the case for my family. Sometimes the birth fathers reject their Filipino children, which is truly heartbreaking.

I have worked on two cases for this organization. In my most recent case the man had two rather high DNA matches, who I will call M and C. They turned out to be siblings to one another. I can tell from the amount they shared with my client that they were most likely first cousins to whomever was my client's bio-father. Those top matches share 481 cMs ad 396 cMs respectively with my client; cMs stands for centimorgans, the unit of measurement for DNA. Those sibling's had a mother who was an only child and their father only had one sibling. That one sibling had two sons. It could only be one of those sons who fathered my client.

After sending Ancestry messages to my clients top matches, I went looking for M and C on social media. Not only did I find that they were both FaceBook friends with the one living, possible bio-father, M and I had a mutual FaceBook friend; a woman who grew up across the street from my grandparents in the home my Cousin Anna Lisa's bio-dad grew up in. Small, small world.

Strangers with Some Gems

On October 9, 2023, a post appeared on the Facebook page of the Freeport Historical Society of Freeport, New York, an area settled by my 10th great-great grandfather, Edward Raynor, in the 1640s. The post shows a map from 1896, which is part of the Historical Society's museum collection. It includes a highlighted area that appears to delineate the boundaries of the town. Just above the northern perimeter is the name of my great-great grandfather, John M. Losee Jr. (March 25,1870 - May 24, 1940), written as "J. Losea" on the map. I commented that I was descended from him. 

Months later on July 24, 2024, a man, who I have never connected with before, replied with an image of my third great grandparents' marriage certificate; John's parents, John M. Losee (Sr.) (August 17, 1841 - February 10, 1918) and Susan Amelia Combs-Losee (October,1843 - January 8, 1904).

I had never seen the document before, I had no date for their marriage until that point, and we are unsure how his great grandmother came into possession of the document. But it is lovely.

You never know where, or who, might possess a piece of your family's history. I am delighted that it has been so well cared for and cherished for such a long time by its stewards, however they may or may not be related to me. Thank you, Russell!

FINALLY!! Added a Calendar

At the encouragement of a colleague, I have finally added a calendar of speaking engagements to my blog. You should be able to see it off to the right at the top of the blog. Going forward I will try to make entries a little more fleshed out with descriptions and links to the libraries. Some Libraries require registrants to be residents of the community, some libraries allow entry to anyone interested. You'll have to check on that with the individual libraries if you are planning on attending any of these events.

Thanks, Librarian Danielle.