Burial Location Found through Social Media: Gersham Smith and Sarah Ann Garvey-Smith

 When I ran into a dead end, no pun intended, looking for the burial location of my 3rd great grandparents; Gersham Smith (about 1848 - 6 November 1905) and Sarah Ann Garvey-Smith (about 1851 - 31 December 1893), I turned to social media. 

I belong to a FaceBook group called Long Island History and I had recently seen a post there about small abandoned family cemeteries around Long Island. One man had posted a photo of cemetery he had stumbled across. Having no success in finding my couple buried at the well known cemeteries in the area, I replied to that post asking if anyone knew of small cemeteries around the North Bellmore area. One man replied that there was a small, old cemetery behind the Christ Alive Church on East Meadow Avenue in East Meadow.

The Christ Alive Church was once the area's Methodist Church. The Methodists constructed a new building across the street and slightly north of their old church but the cemetery behind the Christ Alive Church has a sign that reads: United Methodist Church Cemetery Est, 1859. 

Hmm. My grandpa was raise a Methodist and converted to Catholicism after he married my grandma. Religion is very fluid in my family history. Could it be grandpa's great grandparents were still Methodists back then? Hmm. Maybe.

Place names change over time. That is certainly true here on Long Island. Many of my early Long Island ancestors were settled in Freeport. Freeport has been known by a couple of names including Raynor South and Raynortown. The European credited with settling the area in 1659 was my 10th great grandfather, Edward Raynor, thus the former names of Freeport. 

I don't live in Freeport but my family has resided in the community and surrounding towns for over 350 years; towns including Baldwin, Bellmore, East Meadow, Hempstead, Merrick, and Roosevelt. All those places, at one time, had a different name. The area in which my Smiths lived was once known as Smithville South. Yeah, they have a couple of people named Smith living there. That area is now North Bellmore and part of East Meadow. So maybe Gersham and Sarah Ann were Methodists buried in East Meadow.

I visited the churchyard on Sunday, January 31, 2021. There were very few legible headstones but there were two for Smiths; Vera May Smith (about 1899 - 6 November 1918) and, in another section, Henry E. Smith (1877 - 1917).

I went home and found an email address for the Methodist Church across the street. A very nice woman named Marcella emailed me back that she would take a look at the Church's records as soon as she was in the office. With the current COVID pandemic, I don't expect anyone to be working full-time in any office anywhere everyday. If you are, God bless you.

Yesterday I received an email back with wonderful scans showing documentation that lot 73 of the cemetery belonged to a Gersham Smith; most likely my Gersham Smith.

Marcella is going to look to see if she can confirm the couple is buried there by checking other record books to see if services were held for either of their deaths. In the meantime I have learned that Henry E. Smith for whom there is a headstone in Lot 73 is likely the son of Gersham and Sarah who I have recorded in my research as Harry. So I am pretty confident that I have been to where my third great grandparents, Gersham and Sarah Ann Smith are buried.

CHECK.

It Is Him!

For the past 5 years or so I have taken to unpuzzling DNA matches for people. Every year I take on someone new. I don't charge them and I don't promise them results.

It started with a woman who knew she was adopted and wanted to find her birth parents. It was a struggle and I honestly did not know what I was doing. I didn't get very far. I did the best that I could at the time. To this day I don't know what became of her research.

Then there was an email from a man who matched to someone for whom I manage a DNA kit. He was startled to learn his father was not his biological father. We sorted that one out, found out who his bio dad was, but unfortunately, that man was deceased. There was no "reunion"; happy or otherwise.

Then there was a client I had worked with on researching her family tree who knew her father was not her biological father but did not know who her bio dad was. After a DNA test and a very close match, I was able to determine who her bio father was and put her in touch with cousins. Again, that bio dad was long deceased as were the client's half siblings. Again, I don't really know where it went from there. It sort of fell flat for me. I don't know what relationships she pursued, if any, or what developed.

Then I worked with a woman whose grandfather's mother was adopted and who did not know his biological father. That was a mess. And ultimately, I did not have enough information to work with. The grandfather who had been tested did not have enough known or close matches for me to get very far. I did figure out one certain connection to a family but the woman kind of didn't want to hear or accept what I was trying to explain. I got frustrated. I gave her the information and ended communication. I don't know where her research went from there but when you're working for free, you don't owe them anything.

Just recently though I've had a great success. Yup! I have helped a woman to find her biological father who is alive and well and speaking to her which is not the case with her mother. Her mother is alive but this pursuit to find her bio dad has cracked an already strained relationship she had with her mother to the point where they no longer speak. When one is in pursuit of the truth it's very hard to see eye to eye with someone so deeply in denial.

What most people want to know though, is how do you figure this out. For the genealogist we spend a lot of time while working on such projects thinking about how this came to be. I mean **blushes** We know how it happened, but we think about where people were geographically during a specific period in time, how the couple could have met, and we rule out potential parents based on age, date of birth, locations, and the like.

We tend to invest so much time in the genetic puzzle that we think that is the hardest part. The truth of the matter is the aftermath is the hardest part. Once you figure out who the parents are, what happens? That's the part that the genealogist is not always privileged to. And sometimes the results are anticlimactic. 

So this most recent success I pray remains just that - successful. I hope my client builds a health relationship with her bio dad. I pray he is sane and stable and able to handle this news with the grace and maturity we have seen so far. As for her relationship with her mother, I am not sure there is repair there. I have no advice for her. Except to say that I myself am estranged from my mother. It can be hard to have a healthy relationship with a parent when you too are an adult. You're always their child but you're not a kid. And again, when one is in pursuit of the truth it's very hard to see eye to eye with someone so deeply in denial. Maybe if mom comes to terms with the truth you can be adults together; IF she comes to terms with it. 

Again, I pray this remains a success.

Van Wicklers, Baldwins, and Smiths, OH My! Endogamy vs. Pedigree Collapse

When I visited the grave of my step-3rd great grandmother, Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith, at Greenfield Cemetery in Uniondale, NY on Thursday, January 28, 2021 I did not find a headstone for her but instead, found one beside her spot for Richard H. Van Wickler (1897 - 1974) and Ida May Van Wickler (1904 - 1999). 

I had no idea how Sarah Jane was connected to the Van Wicklers but I recalled her obituary mentioning Van Wicklers.

I found her obituary posted by on Ancestry by another Ancestry user. It does not identify the newspaper it was published in but it reads as follows:

Mrs. Sarah Jane Smith, widow of Gusham Smith, a well known farmer of the Smithville South section years ago, died at the home of her daughter, Mrs. Samuel Van Wickler, 37 orchard street, on Wednesday of last week after a long illness of cancer of the stomach. Mrs. Smith had been a resident of Hempstead since the death of her husband, 15 years ago.  Funeral service was held on Saturday, her 75th birthday, from her late residence, by the Rev. William H. Burgwin of Amityville, L.I., a former pastor of Hempstead Methodist Church. Burial was in Greenfield Cemetery. Mrs. Smith is survived by five daughters, Mrs. Samuel Van Wickler of Orchard street, Hempstead, Mrs. C. B. Sares of Farmingdale, L.I., Mrs. William Duryea of Roosevelt, Mrs. L. Middleton of Pine Rush, N.Y., and Mrs. Herman Brandt of Roosevelt; three sons, Geo. Baldwin, Joseph Baldwin, both of Central Park, and Walter Baldwin of Roosevelt.

This obituary has a lot of helpful information. 

1. It mentions her husband; Sarah Jane's second husband who was my 3rd great grandfather, Gersham Smith.

2. It provides an approximate date of death for Gersham; 15 years earlier which would put it at 1907. Sarah Jane died on 11 January 1922. Gersham really died about a little over 16 years earlier on 5 November 1905

3. It tells me where Sarah Jane is buried.

4. It confirms the surname of her first husband with whom she had her children - Baldwin. Makes no mention of her step-children though.

5. And there is that Van Wickler name.

Now my assumption was that Richard H. Van Wickler who is buried next to Sarah Jane would turn out to be her grandson. However, that is not what my research turned up.

First I looked Richard up on Ancestry.com and was able to determine that Richard Henry Van Wickler was born July 4, 1897 and died in April 1974. Richard was the son of Andrew Foster Van Wickler and Emma Rhodes. (Rhodes - another surname that dances in and out of my family tree).

Richard Henry Van Wickler married Ida May Baldwin. Ida May Baldwin was born August 19, 1904 and died March 1, 1999. Ida was the daughter of Walter Baldwin and Ida May Batcher-Baldwin.

Wait a second. Walter Baldwin? Is that the same Walter Baldwin who is the son of Sarah Jane? Why yes, I do believe it is!

So it was not Richard Van Wickler who was Sarah Jane's grandson. It was his wife, Ida May Baldwin-van Wickler, who was Sarah Jane's granddaughter.

So the Van Wicklers and the Baldwins are all sorts of tangled up. 

Richard Van Wickler is related to Sarah Jane's son-in-law. Sarah Jane's daughter, Margaret Baldwin married Samuel Van Wickler, as indicated by Sarah Jane's obituary. From what I can see, I believe Richard Henry is the grandson of Samuel's brother, John Henry Van Wickler. However, I am really not trying to go down that rabbit hole since I have determined why Sarah Jane is next to Ida May Baldwin-Van Wickler in Greenfield Cemetery.

If I research it further I might find out Ida May and Richard were related to one another. This could be a case of endogamy. 

Endogamy is the practice of marrying within a specific social group or ethnic group. Endogamy is a custom, a practice of marrying within a limit group. For example, it is traditional for Jews to marry other Jews in the same community. It's not exactly marrying your cousin but it can be. There are cultures that reject people from other groups as unsuitable for marriage. 

Endogamy can also happen based on living within a small confined social group. For example I tell my clients and students that if you can trace your white ancestry back to the 1600s on Long Island you're pretty much related to everyone else who can trace their ancestry back to the 1600s on Long Island. I mean, how many people were there then? 

Those early American settler were isolated groups. After two or three generations, who was there to marry but people you were related to. I'm not saying people married their cousins but - - people married their cousins AND people they were closely related to. 

Endogamy is prevalent in many cultures including, but not limited to, Jews, early American settlers, the Amish, French Canadians, Cajuns, and Newfoundlanders. Anyone who follows my blog knows I descend from several of those groups - early American settlers, French Canadians, and Newfoundlanders to be specific. Thank God my people eventually moved around some or I would have a really rough time sorting out my DNA matches. That's a whole other topic. Anyway - - - 

Here we see Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith's granddaughter, Ida May Baldwin-Van Wickler married Sarah Jane's Son-in-law's great nephew. 

Were Ida Baldwin and her husband Richard Van Wickler related? Well not biologically through Sarah Jane but if we spread out and research their trees back several generations we might find they were distant cousins. I wouldn't be surprised.

Marriages such as this not only make for complicated family trees they can cause something called pedigree collapse. Pedigree collapse is not endogamy. Pedigree collapse is one or a few isolated incidents of cousin marriage, while endogamy occurs repeatedly over many, many generations. Endogamy is really more a practice. Pedigree collapse is - well - pedigree collapse is a mess. 

Pedigree collapse occurs when two related individuals produce offspring. As a result, the number of unique individuals occupying ancestor position in a pedigree chart decreases or collapses. I'll give you an example... 

Let's say first cousins marry - that doesn't happen much anymore these days. It is socially unacceptable now and illegal in many places but back in the day it happened. 

So let's say two first cousins marry. They have the same grandparents. So when they have a children that set of grandparents occurs in their family tree twice. That is pedigree collapse. And it extends out - say 4th or 5th cousins marry each other, their children will have a the same set of ancestors show up in multiple places in their tree. 

In short, it is a pain in the ass to keep straight, but then again I suppose it cuts down on one's research time. I mean, you don't have to research the same couple multiple times; if that is any comfort to you.

Oh what a tangled web.

For now I am content knowing the connection between Sarah Jane and the Van Wicklers buried next to her.

Ambitious Goal: 7 Cemeteries, 1 Day

Right now it is snowing like crazy here on Long Island. They say it is going to persist through the whole day well into tomorrow. We'll see. Right now I am day dreaming of warm spring days and trampling through cemeteries.

Queens County, New York is known for many things but the two of the biggest things I would say are its airports and its cemeteries. Airports are closed today. Cemeteries? Well, I ain't going there today.

On my list of cemeteries to visit in order to achieve my goal of visiting all the graves of my great grandparents, great-great grandparents, and 3rd great grandparents there are 5 cemeteries in Queens County and 2 that are in Brooklyn but very very close to the Queens County border. In those 7 cemeteries I have 12 ancestors to visit. Yeah, a lot of my people lived in NY.

So I have this really really ambitious goal of visiting all 7 cemeteries on the same day. I know, I know it sounds crazy and it is but look how close they all are to each other.

This route constitutes just little over an hour of driving time - 1hr and 18 minutes to be precise.

Hey, don't look at me like that. If I get up real early on a nice warm spring day and head out there. I bet I could get them all in. 

At the very least I think it makes sense to try. 

Hey, stop looking at me like that. 

Greenfield Cemetery, Uniondale, NY: My step-3rd great grandmother Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith

Yesterday afternoon, Thursday, January 28, 2021 at 4 p.m. I went to Greenfield Cemetery in Uniondale, New York in search of the grave of my step-3rd great grandmother; Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith. You can read more about why I am doing this search in earlier blog posts.

With the plot location in hand I headed for Section 25, Lot 172, Grave 3 - Sarah Jane's spot.

First you should know Greenfield is not laid out in a simple grid pattern and the lots are not numbered a meaningful order. Well, not meaningful to me at least. It appears as though the first lots are in the middle of the cemetery. Then, I suppose, as the cemetery expanded outward it added lots.  Take a look:

Not wanting to go into the main office during this period of COVID, I drove around the cemetery looking for Section 25 without a map. Ugh it took forever and I was there very close to closing time. No one wants to get closed in a cemetery.

After I finally found the lot right near the main entrance - who would think lot 25 was right next to lot 1? - I had to figure out what Lot 172 meant. 

Fortunately, most of the headstone were engraved with numbers. I was looking for a stone marked 172-3. The graves closet to the main gate had lower numbers like 38-2. So I went to the other end of the section to find headstone numbered starting with 300s. OK - so she was in the middle somewhere.

I was really lucking in pulling right up to a headstone numbered 168-2. I got out of my car and trampled around the nearby area. Take a look at this area:

Welcome to my family. There is rarely ever a headstone. Ugh. So frustrating. 

But in looking around at the few headstone there were in this area I found one labeled 172-4. 

Sarah Jane should be 172-3 so I am assuming that she is right next to this stone.

Now I was not familiar with any family connection to Van Wicklers. However, when I got home I reread the obituary I found on Ancestry for Sarah Jane and right there it states that she died at the home of her daughter, Mrs. Samuel Van Wickler.

So now I really do believe Sarah Jane was interred right next to that headstone and I have the task of unpuzzling how Sarah Jane is related to Richard H. Van Wickler.

Hi, step-3rd great grandmother. Where is Gersham and the first Sarah Smith??

Searching for my Smiths

I have Smiths. My condolences to you if you too have Smiths in your family tree.  Can we just say were cousins and give up on them? Because researching Smiths is like some ring of Dante's inferno. I don't know what I did in my past genealogical life to acquire such a fate but I suppose those Smiths of mine really acquired me, right? Ugh. Anyway, they are agony to research.

I am, however, blessed that my 3rd great grandfather Smith had a somewhat unusual first name - - Gersham. Yeah, you don't run into too many of them so he has that going for him. I do love that name, although, it does appear with various spellings; Gersham, Gershom, Gershon, Gershes, Gershow. I know it is him when I see him.

In any case, I have quite a few sources for information on my Gersham Smith. I don't have anything definitive regarding his date of birth but census records have it as about 1845-1847 in New York. His date of death I have for sure; November 5, 1905 in Smithville South. Smithville South is now known as Bellmore; the same town my grandfather was born in, where my step-mother grew up, where my sister resides, etc., etc., etc. It's right over there. So close.

My desire to find his burial location is not proving to be as easy as I had hoped. I thought being so local it would be easy. There aren't a lot of cemeteries around Bellmore. The closest, and the location where most of my old Long Island family lines are interred, is called Greenfield Cemetery in Uniondale. I thought for sure he's buried there. But I called them, and Gersham is not there. Not according to their records.

So I set about to find my 3rd great grandmother, Gersham's first wife, Sarah Ann Garvey-Smith. Yeah, Sarah Smith. There are only about a bajillion of them. In fact, his second wife was also named Sarah; Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith. Yes, two wives. Both named Sarah. You're killing me grandpa, you are killing me.

A call to Greenfield inquiring as to the burial locations of Gersham and his two Sarah Smiths resulted in one burial location, that of his second wife, Sarah Jane. I am biologically descended from the first Mrs. Sarah Smith but all the same, I think I will go visit step-3rd great grandma Sarah.

Sarah Jane Andrews-Baldwin-Smith was born in January of 1847 to Henry Andrews and Margaret Switzer-Andrews. I have not put much research into Sarah Jane but I know she married DeWitt Clinton Baldwin in about 1870 and had around 10 children with him. DeWitt died in the mid-1890s and in 1899 she remarried my widowed 3rd great grandfather, Gersham Smith.

I suspect Sarah Jane is buried with her first family, the Baldwins, since Greenfield cannot find a burial record for Gersham. Well, I am off to find out who is there with Sarah Jane in Greenfield Cemetery, Section 25, Lot 172, Grave 3. Wish me luck.

Counting Them Visited: Thomas Gray (abt. 1844 - 27 March 1899) & Anna Hughes-Gray (Nov 1843 - 17 April 1904)

In my first wave of attempting to locate gravesites I had yet to visit, I took a cursory glance at my records on Ancestry. I store the bulk of my printed documentation in my office which is inaccessible to me right now due to the COVID pandemic. Yes, I keep my print records at work because I used to spend the bulk of my time there and I just didn't have the shelf space for the multiple large binders. So I just looked at what I had on Ancestry for my 3rd great grandparents, Thomas Gray and Anna Hughes-Gray - - no plot location. 

I did a few searches and still I could not come up with a plot location. So I sent an email to Aunt Ro. Aunt Ro is really my father's cousin but we grew up calling his cousins aunt & uncle out of respect. That can make for confusion when you grow up and try to research people who were called "aunt" and "uncle" but weren't really that relation but I digress.

Aunt Ro has been doing genealogy research my whole life and this is our shared line so I thought for sure she would have plot locations for this couple. 

She did! 

And so did I. Yeah, somehow I had overlooked that I had acquired their plot locations in Calvary Cemetery some years ago when I was researching Anna's brother, Edward Hughes. 

I wrote multiple big long blog about the circumstances surrounding his murder: Edward Hughes Murdered??? and Revisiting Edward Hughes Edward is interred with his sister Anna and her husband Thomas along with several other family members. I have even previously written about my experience of trying to find Edward's plot in Calvary Cemetery: Headstone Hunting I really did not recall having visited Anna & Thomas there though. I think that is  because, like so many of my relatives, they do not have a headstone.

In Calvary Cemetery, cemetery 1, section 3, graves 1-4 there are 4 small square tiles that are flush with the ground. They mark the perimeter of graves 1-4. And that is it! No marking of the corner stones, no names, no dates, you can hardly even see them. I never even bother to photograph them. That is, however, the resting place of at least 10 of my relatives:

1. Terrence Hughes, my 4th great-grandfather (born about March 1800 - died 22 September 1873)
2. Ellen Sweeney-Hughes, my 4th great-grandmother (born about October 1802 - died 12 March 1884) 
3. Edward Hughes, their son (born about 1849 - died 24 March 1874)
4. Patrick Henry Hughes, another son and purchaser of the plot (born about 1844 - died 25 June 1883)
5. Mary Gray, also known as Mamie, daughter of Anna Hughes-Gray and Thomas Gray (born 22 July 1869 - 24 May 1929)
6. Margaret Gray-Fitzpatrick, another daughter of Anna Hughes-Gray and Thomas Gray (born 25 January 1875 - died 20 June 1968)
7. Michael Fitzpatrick,  Margaret's husband (born about 1878 - died 25 January 1956)    
8. Elizabeth V. Gray,  another daughter of Anna Hughes-Gray and Thomas Gray (born 9 July 1875 - died 2 June 1970)

AND my 3rd great grandparents Anna Hughes-Gray and Thomas Gray.

• Anna Hughes-Gray, my 3rd great-grandmother who sometimes appears as Anna M., Mary Ann, or Mary A. (born about November 1843 - died 17 April 1904)
• Thomas Gray, my 3rd great-grandfather (born about 1844 - died 27 March 1899)

Interestingly, I have Anna's memorial card and I've written about that in the past too: Speaking of Memorial Cards...

The curious thing is that I was just at Calvary Cemetery with Aunt Ro's brother, Uncle Charlie, his daughter Cousin Kelly, and granddaughter Meri looking for the burial location of their great-great grandfather on their maternal line; not our shared ancestry. And guess where their great-great grandpa, Thomas J. Moore, is buried. Cavalry Cemetery, Cemetery 1, Sec 3. Different row and grave but in the same section as the Hughes-Grays. It is a small, small world and a really big freakin' section of an enormous cemetery.